Monday, August 31, 2009

Die

Because all I know how to do anymore is post clips and further the gay agenda (mine involves getting milk, I'm out) here's some classic Funny or Die clips that make me laugh.

Now, I don't know anything about healthcare. I'm kinda dumb when it comes to economy stuff... I just don't get it. But this video sheds some light on it.



In this next video, we see Dr. Elliot Reed, that gay *NSync member, Batgirl, and that damn trekkie talk about the brewing storm ahead. The Gay People storm.



Lindsay Lohan's EHarmony Ad



Levi Johnston's EHarmony Ad



Red Bull...?



"Gwyneth Paltrow" makes Chicken. The funniest of them all.



The McLovin' Fund with Kristen Bell



I don't know who Rachel Zoe is, but I know at least six people like this.


You've seen Jon + Kate Gosslein's EHarmony ads, but have you seen Hailey Glassman's?

I'm surprised that we haven't seen Hailey Glassman's genitals yet...

EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE THIS CLIP

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Gay Rights PSA's

As any frequent reader knows (by frequent reader I of course mean "myself," because I'm narcissistic and read my own blog constantly) I am extraordinarily pro-gay rights. Being gay kinda helps with that, but if I was born straight I feel like I'd feel very similarly. A majority of my life experiences have nothing to do with how gay I am (but that's for another blog.)

I spend a lot of time on youtube (which is the greatest invention for the unemployed, let me tell you!) and I've compiled some of the best pro-gay/equal rights ads I've seen.















Arf Arf!

I don't really follow the Gay Atheist blog, but @cinematt01 RT'd an article that I took a lot of issue with.

Disgusting! RT @gayatheist Zoophiles Coming Out, A Man Admits To Animal Attraction: The Next Gay Rights Movement? http://tinyurl.com/m6aqya


If you know me at all or have read any of my other entries on gay marriage, then you likely know I'm incredibly offended by this article. For starters, it tries to make the gay community sound like the bad guys for not allowing Zoophilacs in on our ballot - that we're one and the same. Other than the fact that animals cannot consent within any reason of human law, we are fighting for equal-marriage rights for two consenting adult humans under human law. We're not asking for a complete legal overhaul so much as simple inclusion.

Secondly, the article states "People turn a blind eye to the fact that a dog is a sexual being." NO, dogs are NOT. Yes, animals have sex, but from what I understand, Humans and Dolphins are the only two species of animals that actually get pleasure from sexual contact. Sure, pigs have orgasms that last thirty minutes, but they don't get pleasure out of it. Dogs use humping often as either practice for sexual behavior or to assert dominance. There are certain species of monkeys that use sex instead of war (two fighting prides will simply mate with each other and become one big monkey family.) A sexual relationship between human and animal could be misconstrued by the animal as either a dominance issue or peace treaty, or even completely misunderstood and it becomes part of training... and any way it's looked at, inter-species sex is unnatural. I know many people say that about homosexual human contact but that, at least, is well documented within most sectors of the animal kingdom and throughout history, and in humans it's consenting homosexual relationships between members of the same species.

Asserting that it is possible to have an emotional relationship with an animal is plausible, but there is no way to quantify or qualify a non-human animal's capacity to exhibit love in any human terms, so until an animal to human translator is developed, it is unethical to even consider equal marriage rights for zoophiliacs. I can expect that Zoophiliacs put animals on equal level to them, which would allow for the assumption that they can love humans back. I, of course, completely disagree with this notion.

I would compare Zoophilia more to Pedophilia than to Homosexuality. Pedophiles also often believe that it is not an affliction but a sexual orientation that they were born with, and consider Children to be on the same mental, physical, and emotional level as themselves. Children and animals are not on the same mental, physical, or emotional plane as adult humans, and therefore cannot consent or legally participate in sexual or emotional encounters with adult humans the same way that adult humans engage each other sexually and emotionally.

That, and it's just icky.

Fool Me, Fool Me

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

I never really liked that phrase. That's a phrase that essentially says "trust no one." "Give no one a second chance." Sure, it's a slippery slope argument, but only leaving yourself to blame for being too trusting just leads you to be down on yourself, when you were being kind because - hey! That's the kind of person you are.

I'm the king of being too trusting. I always assume the best of someone. And yeah, I've been hurt six ways to Sunday. And what have I taken from it? I've taken that sometimes, I'm a shitty judge of character. But is that really a flaw? Is trusting too many people really that bad of a thing? I've also heard the saying that when you refuse to trust people, it gives them a reason not to trust you.

I've been told I'm too giving. I've been told I'm too concerned with other people's emotions and when someone's upset, I often bring that burden onto myself.

Because how dare I feel responsible when someone's upset. How dare I want them to feel better. How dare I want people to feel strong and lovable. How dare I.
Okay, yeah, maybe it's a burden that can get a little heavy for me. Maybe it gets me a lil' too concerned with my public image. Maybe I care too much.
But I'm kinda proud of my neverending capacity to care.

So is it my fault when someone pulls the wool over my eyes twice? Is it my fault that I want to believe in the best in people? ...well, yes. Just like it's a blind kids fault that he's running into stuff, a deaf kids fault that he missed what you said. I refuse to let my empathy be jaded by assholes, just like a blind person won't let some bruises stop them from walking.

So let's change the old adage, shall we?

What do you think about "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you're an asshole."
I think it's just the right amount of forgiving while avoiding self-blame, yeah?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

holycrap

I never realized Mary Poppins was so terrifying.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Irritable Male Syndrome

AAAAARRRRGGGHHH!

Irritable Male Syndrome.

It's like PMS, 'cept for Dudes.


And I got it bad.

I totally snapped at this guy that was being condescending tonight (as was deserved.)
...I've also snapped at people who don't deserve it.
Like some good friends who I short-fused on. Sorry guys... it's just sometimes, when you don't get something simple that I'm talking about, it gets incredibly frustrating, and my patience can't take it. Or when you judge me for something undeservedly, I'm liable to snap. Sorry.

I IMS for a couple days every couple of months... and apparently, I'm picking this week.
I just feel... on edge. I'm impatient with everything right now. It's sorta like caffeine overdose, only angrier.

Hopefully this clears the eff up soon. I feel like I'm peaking, but I guess we'll see.

Anybody reading this? If so, leave me your opinions - is IMS real shit, or are we just fakin' it?

Hint:
We're not.


So tell me an IMS story! You just might have one!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I... How... What?

This kid managed to play Guitar Hero with his Elbow and solve two Rubik's cubes at once.

The Geekologie writer thinks this kid will never get any, but if I met someone with that talent that was above the legal age of consent I'd hit that like Rihanna a red-headed step child Rihanna.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

The Most Important Video Ever

This was my favorite video when I was sixteen.

WATCH IT. LOVE IT.



Also, is every guy at this school gay?
...can I go there?


"I guess... squeeze it really hard?"

Thunderpants, Assemble!

How in God's Fuck did we miss this amazing movie?!
"Thunderpants is a 2002 family film about a boy whose incredible capacity for flatulence gets him a job as an astronaut." - Wikipedia

Patrick Smash was born with two stomachs which makes him "uncontrollably and devastatingly flatulent."

Patrick Smash is, of course, the fat kid in the astronaut suit.
Do you know who the nerdy motherfucker on the right is?
Allen A. Alan, aka Rupert Grint aka RON FUCKING WEASLEY OMG.

Also in the movie?
Paul Giamatti and Keira Knightly WHAT THE EFF??

I know, I know, I can't believe any of this either, but it's right there on Wikipedia. You gotta check this shit out.

Thunderpants on Wikipedia

Anyone wanna watch this with me?