Saturday, November 7, 2009

Dating Advice:

Girls: He just might be out of your league. Don't bother.

Guys: Let women figure out why they won't sleep with you, don't do it for them.

Gay Men and Women: You guys are stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Make better decisions.


okay so I know I posted this five seconds ago, but I realized it might maybe make me sound like a dick.
...which I kind of am.
But I'm like a really nice dick, wrapped up in a tortilla of awesome.

So let me elaborate.

I've had the misfortune in high school of having some very unfortunate looking girls tell me about their crushes on football players. I mean really unfortunate looking. I was president of the japanese club. Trust me on this one.

They'd ask them out, and be bitterly upset when rejected. And their friends just let them do it. Shouldn't they know better? I mean nothing against the unfortunate girls, y'all can't control it... but don't go for football players! You should probably know better.

I remember one time, my friend Sherry* gave this girl Megatron* my screenname.
(*names changed)

Megatron wanted to let me know that she was into me. And by "into me" I mean "repeatedly tell me I was sexy".

Megatron was one of these unfortunate looking girls. Granted, I'm not the most fortunate looking guy on the planet, but really? Not only that, but Sherry knew that I was gay. Why didn't she let Megatron know? Why do girls constantly egg each other on, allowing them to ask out people that are way out of their leagues. It just sets them up for heartache. Isn't that was the movie He's Just not that into You was about? Stop it. Get real!

Next, I've seen a lot of guys give up on a girl in five seconds flat. And I don't mean out-of-their-league girls, I mean they would actually probably work out pretty well. Of course, I'm not talking about your typical bro who thinks he can get every girl, there's a good chance that my male friends have a lot less gumption than your male friends.

As for my gay friends of which I do not have many of, and yes, I'm including myself, I feel like we have this talent of combining all these problems into one huge lump of stupid. That bit of dating advice was as much for myself as anyone else.
We all assume that everyone is out of our leagues, yet we fall for them anyway. We ask out people that totally suck and ignore guys that could potentially be way into us. Because we're stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid.

1 comment:

  1. Haha loves it.

    But, i don`t think i`m overly unfortunate looking, and still had problems in the past getting very average-looking guys to go on a date with me for some reason, so it`s not all that clean and easy!

    And then you see drop-dead gorgeous men at the supermarket with really unfortunate looking mail-order-brides and wonder what they see in them... but they hold hands or kiss so lovingly, so in their eyes, no matter how gorgeous they are, they might still like the uglies.

    But oh well, I got my man now who`s a total hottie, so it doesn`t matter :-P