Wednesday, September 29, 2010


So a friend of mine tweeted tonight:

"if someone tells you about God and what He's done, it's because they care about you."

I think it's a sweet sentiment.

If you've read any of my blogs on religion, you'll find I have nothing against religion, but I do have something against the way it's frequently practiced.

Very rarely do I come across someone who is willing to admit they're a devout Christian unless they're telling me why I'm wrong about something with no other justification than "because the Lord says so."

Of course, I'm typing this as my mother is in the other room, praying. Just like she has every night, since before I was born.

My mother is a very self-aware Christian.

My Grandmother talks about her "conversations" with God, and how he talks to her. All of my grandmother's friends also talk about their "conversations" with God.

God doesn't talk to my mother.
She says this makes her care about religion even more. "Why doesn't he talk to me? I don't know, but I know he talks to them. I'll just keep trying."

Just because someone tries to Witness to you does not mean it's out of love. They try and tell themselves it's out of love, but what it's often out of is misunderstanding.

I've had protesters at gay functions try to tell me that what they're saying is out of Love. Most of them, I agree with; but it's not me in particular they care about, it's the fate of the world. Therefore, it's not me they love, it's not the gay community - true love and caring involves a deeper understanding of who a person is. Unfortunately, they look at the gay community the same way one of us would look at a drug addict - yes, they love and care about us our recovery. They look at us as a charity case, people to pity. People who don't know that they're behavior is going to send them to the fiery depths of hell.

And yes, in that respect, they "love" us.

That's not the kind of love I need.

Then again, in all fairness, I don't 100% understand them either. ...though I feel like I've a deeper understanding about how the world actually works.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Fancy And Gay

(Okay so I definitely wrote this blog a year ago and forgot to post it. ...I've no idea what triggered me writing it, but I feel like it needs to be shared. Original writing date: Oct. 20, 2009)


I hate that word. I actually cringe when I see it, hear it, type it... I don't like it. It derogatory, it's mean... it's not okay. And I won't have anyone telling me what I am and am not allowed to be offended at.

Let's start with the origin of the word. Yes, it means "a bundle of sticks." A bundle of sticks used as kindling to burn homosexuals at the stake. So yeah... not exactly a nice term.

"But in Europe it means 'cigarette butt'!"
Not when it's being said at a gay person, it's not.

Now that we have it's origins out of the way...

Essentially, "Fag" is the gay version of "Nigger," which is another word that I hate seeing/hearing/typing. The "N" Word was what slave owners used to call their "negroes".

"But black people call each other that all the time! Why can't we call each other fags?"

Personally, I don't like when black people say the N word, but I'm not a black person, and considering gays are still a rising minority, we really have to be careful. Calling each other Faggots makes it okay for other people to call us Faggots, just like in Mean Girls - "Calling each other bitches and whores makes it okay for other people to call you bitches and whores."
We're making it okay for others to say it. One day, your straight best friend calls you fag, and it's funny because he's your friend. Then he says it in front of one of his friends, but it's okay because he has gay friends who think it's cool. Then that friend thinks it's okay, and it spreads.
It is not okay.

Now, part of it may have to do with where you grew up. I grew up in an area where calling someone a "faggot" is a pretty hefty insult. However, the lesbians all call themselves "dykes." I didn't know for a long time that "dyke" was bad, I just thought it was a shorter way to say lesbian, like homosexual -> gay. When I got to college, a friend of mine told me that where she was from, the gays called themselves fags and so did everyone else so it was cool, but if a girl got called a dyke, it was time to throw down.

Sure, sometimes I maintain the mantra that if most people don't care about something, then no one should - but this is not one of those times. We're turning into our own worst enemies by saying things like "oh, my friend Tim is such a fag." or "oh my god, Jake in my class has the faggiest hair i've ever seen." These things are not okay! I mean, white people don't go around calling each other crackers, asian people don't call each other chinks, and hispanics don't call themselves spicks or degos. (I don't really know what those words mean, to be honest. I grew up in a nice house where we don't say words like that.)

Long story short, watch your fucking mouth.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Curb Your Enthusiasm

I accidentally cut a guy off. Naturally, he proceeds to chase me for at least five blocks tailgating me the whole way, when I hit a stop sign and he pulls next to me, rolls down his window, and starts yelling. "I got kids in the car, and you drivin' like a dummy!! You drivin' like a dummy!" I snapped back "And you just chased me down!! Do you realize how unintelligent that is?!" He starts yelling "Oh, now I'm unintelligent? I'm unintelligent?!" as I drove away. He started tailing me again for a hot second but then stopped. I thought I was gonna have to call the cops.

He had a giant SUV, and I have a tiny Toyota Camry. The way I cut him off, had he hit me, he would have broadsided me. I would have been dead, his kids wouldn't have even woken up, and it would have been 100% my fault and he'd get off free of charge. Instead of driving away and thanking his lucky stars that nothing happened, he proceeded to STALK me. He had no idea who he was chasing down. I could have been a 400lb bodybuilder serial killer for all he knew.

I remained pretty calm, but I wanted to be like "do you realize what you just taught your kids? Do you realize that you just taught your kids that hunting a guy down for cutting you off is okay? Do you know that??" I'm glad I drove away, because honestly he could have beat my ass, but what he did is SO incredibly wrong. People need to learn to curb their road rage, because it's not okay. If someone pisses you off, shake your fist and move on. Jesus fucking Christ.

Of course, part of why he was yelling at me was the "poor" driving I showed after I cut him off, but I was driving a little crazy because he was on my tail, chasing me. I was trying to lose him. I don't drive like that normally - I'm actually a really good driver. I don't have problems like this, ever. Until tonight, I've never been so much as beeped at.

The entire drive home, any large, pale-colored car that was behind me scared me to death because I thought it was him again. I'm now basically terrified of large, pale SUV's. And of course, because it's night, I didn't get his license plate number or his car model, so there's nothing I can do other than remain in constant fear of large, pale SUV's.

Fuckin' people.

Red-Headed Slut

So Kathy Griffin is a fucking genius.

And she has every ounce of it planned.

I've finally broken down the Kathy Griffin Formula.

See, for a while, I just didn't understand Kathy Griffin. When I saw her in interviews or on the red carpet, she was just a total raucous bitch.

(Yes, this is the ONLY version of that clip I could find.)

I just couldn't understand her appeal. She kind of reminded me of Lisa Lampanelli, who's just gross. I didn't understand how Kathy had such a large group of loyal Griffins.

Then I actually watched some of her stand up.

Notice how she's softer spoken, she smiles, she reacts to the audience...
She performs her stand up like she's hanging with a group of her galpals.
And yes, that draws you in. It feels raw, unaldulterated, and passionate - and that makes it funny.

She purposefully does her stand-up in a way that makes it feel like you're privy to a conversation that the rest of the world isn't - which is the same way Kathy makes her life out to be when she interacts with the "A-List". She then passes that knowledge down to us loyal followers, and she feels like that one girl we knew in high school who was wicked talented, then we run into her later on and she's still the same girl, but she's famous as shit and still doesn't understand how it happened. Now you two have lunch every other week, and you precede every conversation with "oh, spill the beans guuuurl!"

That, my friends, is Kathy Griffin.

And you know what?

I love it.