WHAT IN THE $*_%ING HELL WHYYYYYY

YES THESE ARE ALL REAL OH MY GOD WHYYYYY

Get the London Look

Let's talk.

Let's talk, specifically about the annoying girl who fakes a british accent because she thinks she's cool.

She says she's "just stuck in it" but really, watched Harry Potter six hundred fucking times in order to study their accent (she still fucks it up.)

She also brings up kissing, the bathroom, and bad situations just so she can say "Snogging", the "Loo" (which is Australian anyway), and "Bullocks" or "Bugger".

Did I mention she's also watched Pirates of the Carribean one too many times, and she's wearing a black hello kitty shirt with a torn up skirt and combat boots?

Fucking goth-ass eighteen year olds.

...not that I've ever met a girl like that...
...
...
...

but this hypothetical girl, let's just say she spends her time in the Game Room at Arcadia University sometimes.

...hypothetically.

Everyone knows her accent is pitiful and fucking annoying, but they just don't know how to tell her. It's not even that it's a good accent, or she legitimately got stuck in it cuz she's had a few or she just got back from three years in London and picked it up a bit and is just waiting for it to go away...

NO. It's a poorly done fake british accent that's overly breathy and sounds like Drew Barrymore in Ever After, which was probably this girl's favorite fucking movie since it came out when she was fucking six.

She's definitely going abroad to London either this coming spring or in the fall of her sophomore year, because that's where she feels she truly, truly belongs. She'll go, and everyone there will snub her, and she won't understand why, since her London accent is so good and she blends in with them so well, she can't figure out how they know she's American.

But for now, she'll spend her time playing pool with people who don't have the heart to tell her she's an ignorant twat who doesn't fucking know how to be herself in any sense of the word, so she hides behind dark eyeliner and hello kitty and a FAKE. FUCKING. BRITISH. ACCENT.

Hypothetically.

Aches & Pains

So... I went to the doctor's today.
Aside from massive amounts of witty banter that I'm always spouting (if you know me, you know that my wit is genius... hahahahah! Jeeze, I couldn't even type that with a straight face!!), the doctors was a kinda easy experience.

Except it turns out I had to get some booster shots.
Okay, I kind of hate needles, but that's fine.
::side note:: i managed to call Tetanus "Tetris."
Because, ladies and gentleman (I know there's only one of you)
I'm a fucking idiot.
So I got my tetris shot and a hepatitis shot.


My arms have never known such soreness.


And naturally, it's ITCHY.
AND PAINFUL.
PAINFULLY ITCHY.
PAINTCHY, if you will.

But, naturally, that's not the only problem I have going on,
oh no. I wouldn't be that lucky.

I went to the beach last weekend, where I learned that I have no clue how to put on sunscreen. This is the result:



That's right, check that beauty out. My fat, sunburnt, Rorschach ink-blot back. You know you love it. Mmmm awkward sunburn. Proof once again that I totally and completely rule.

Currently, my right shoulder is peeling like a bitch. Because, once again, I totally and completely rock. You're jealous.

*sob*

So point is, I now have red, peeling skin everywhere along with a sore shot-arm. What's next, cancer?



I hope so.