more adventures in cyber-dating

Whoops! Didn't mean to forget about this!

More adventures in manhunt dating...

a) got awkwardly pressured by a guy who really, really wanted to blow me. It was the strangest combination of incredibly aroused and panic-attacky I've ever had. Did I mention I'm not into meeting strangers off the internet for sex? Okay good.

b) "Hey Norristown Here wana use my hole no talking no faces?"
Does something about "interested in an LTR" scream "fuck my anonymous ass"? Just curious as to if I'm sending out the wrong signals here.

c) 99% sure that this one guy made two profiles just to get in mah pants. They had almost the same text, though they contained very different pictures. I had been ignoring the first one, and then the other started messaging me, then gave me his screenname... which belonged to the other guy. Classy.



I've tried a bunch of dating sites and nothing seems to work... but meeting guys is really hard when you don't know who's gay and who's not.

I was pretty sure I had seen my ex on my train the other day. Man, was that awkward. I'm pretty sure I just stared at a stranger for a while wondering if it was my ex. So, because I now find this situation funny, I decided to be silly.
I remembered that Craigslist has Missed Connections. I also remembered that some people purposefully post humorous things on Craigslist. So I decided to be unapologetically awkward and post this today:

R1 Train to Philly on Sunday - m4m - 21 (Philadelphia)

Me: 5'9", short Brown hair, White button-up shirt, Sunburnt, big green backpack, had to awkwardly ask strangers what stop we were at
You: Unknown height, blond-tipped faux-hawk, probably around 23? Going somewhere past Suburban Station

I was staring at you awkwardly because you looked ridiculously like my ex. ...sorry about that.
Really though... you could be his long lost maybe-fraternal-but-are-they-identical?-I-can't-tell twin.
I just wanted to let you know I wasn't being creepy. Just... confused.

If you actually were my ex... well then I guess that's even more awkward, huh? hmm.

Well, that's all.

--------------

If that's not funny, I don't know what is.
I am a riot. Laugh it up, people.
Seriously though, I'm about to turn to twitter or something for dating.
"Hey, I saw u tweeted abt #sytycd and ur kinda cute. U nrby?"

No, I don't tweet like that. Just check the sidebar! (I do flirt like that though. I'm awkward in public.)



(HASHTAG H-O-T-T HAHA LOL you wanna go the-number-four coffee?)

ugh

Okay, so a friend of mine recently convinced me to join ManHunt.
I've had no luck with other internet dating sites, but didn't want to join manhunt because it just seemed well... slutty.
"But no!" he said, "there's a lot of guys on there who aren't just looking for sex. I'm one of them! Trust me."

So finally I caved.
Made an account.
The profiles there are nice and simple, so here's what I wrote:

"I'm not on here for sex, I'm looking for a friend to turn into a relationship.
Send me a message if you'd like to get to know me."

Believe it or not, that's a long profile on there, since it seems most people are "Man, I love fuckin'. Wanna fuck my ass?"

Within 24 hours, I had two men over 50 tell me that they wanna have sex with me, and then this gem of a message:


"sum suck my canon... u do realize this is a sex site. love to see you naked"


Okay for starters, "sum suck my canon"? Did he mean "cum" or "some"? Well, to break it down - the first way is bad grammar and the second way is poor spelling. I like men with IQ's higher than that of mayonnaise, thank you.

Secondly, when someone at a bar says "I don't drink, I come here for the fries," do you shove a drink in their face and scream "this is a bar, now chug!!!" or do you buy them some fucking fries? You buy them some goddamn waffle fries or you leave them the fuck alone. Dang, Mustang! Forward much?

Thirdly, "love to see you naked". a) that's completely untrue. Very few people enjoy seeing me naked. b) I just got some new clothes, and contrary to popular belief they look way better on me than on your floor, got it?


I got another message from a guy today that simply said "Yo."
What does one say to that?
He's cute, but since profiles on this site have to be short I know next to nothing about him..
so what did I say back?
"Yo, what's good."
What else am I supposed to say? He gave me nothing to work with. For all I know he just wants to sex me up, so I'm not gonna be like "hey, here's my screen name let's talk!!" But what if he wants more than that and just assumed I wasn't going to respond? At least he's not like the other guy who tried to condescend his dick into my mouth.
Jeeze.



Welcome to my first post.
I'm sure I'll have more adventures in internet dating to bitch about.
Among other various things.
For my music blog, check out Alex's iPod
For my reality television blog, check out JudgingReality