Saturday, May 22, 2010

Here Comes the Groom

I went to my friends wedding today, and let me tell you, it got me thinkin' about stuff.

For starters, the Groom from the last wedding I went to has had time to suffer a back injury, get addicted to pain meds, and die in a drug war gang shooting, and the bride has had time to remarry - so it's been about a week? Just kidding, it's been about eight or ten years since my last wedding, so I really had no idea what to expect. I pulled up to the place and saw a beautiful wedding set up down the hill from the reception hall, and a horse-drawn carriage. Naturally I assumed I was at the wrong place.
False. Definitely at the right place. Samantha had a horse-drawn carriage.
So clearly we're having a fairy-tale dream wedding. The sky was overcast but comfortable, flowers were falling from the trees, the wind was calm, and we were seated on the wrong side. That's right, they sat myself and five of our friends on the Groom's side. ...which is fine, because Alex is a total sweetheart. ...Speaking of Alex, where the hell is he? I thought, hoping that this wouldn't be a soap opera wedding. Finally the grinning groom emerges from behind his groomsmen and is escorted to the trellis. Sam is escorted from the carriage to the trellis by her father, looking beautiful. This was a picture from a storybook.

Then the Pastor opened his mouth.

Considering how formal and dreamy this whole scenario was, this Pastor didn't fit in one bit. Fairytale Wedding Officiators don't say "totally" every fifth sentence and make jokes about mommy still packing lunch. He ended up turning the whole thing into a whole big deal about the definition of a holy union and how they weren't two, they were three (the third being Jesus Christ) but now they're all one, like a rope. It was a nice metaphor, but it was poorly explained - I thought he was trying to say that they needed a third person for the relationship and that threesomes were the best and only way to go. Not only this, but his enunciation was horrific; he was clearly trying to suppress his Philly accent and not doing a very good job. It just wasn't appropriate in a ceremony so formal that people weren't sure whether or not we were allowed to clap even when the bride and groom kissed. Yeah, the pastor had to let us know we could clap. After they were officiated they did the thing where they walk back down the aisle as a newly married couple and we were supposed to blow bubbles on them. ...yeah, we all totally froze and that didn't happen whatsoever.


I forgot to mention the vocalist! Oh man was that awkward. After they lit their unity candle, this guy gets up with his guitar and starts playing. It was great until he started singing. Don't get me wrong, he has a lovely voice - but the happy couple just stood there smiling at each other for two and a half minutes. It was kind of... awkward.

Other than that, it was a total dream wedding, and it got me thinking.
...It got me thinking that I don't want anything like it for my wedding.

Don't get me wrong - this wedding was perfect for Sam and Alex. It just made sense for them, and not an ounce of it surprised me.

Me, on the other hand? I was a beach wedding. I want a small smattering of people I love. I don't want the officiator to talk about how I am solely a product of my parents, or tell me that we're no longer individuals, I want him to tell us that what makes us individuals is what makes us work even better as one and that we each contribute unique and beautiful things to the relationship. I don't want a sermon on how failing to meet my obligation to the church is comparable to adultery, I want to know that our obligations to each other are the most important things in our lives. I don't want to hear that the ring tells strangers that I'm unavailable, I want to hear that the rings are a symbol of our strength and unity with each other and that we may feel it even if we are without each other.

And I want everyone to be jealous of us.

That's right, I said it. I'm not gonna pretend I'm not jealous of Sam. She had a beautiful wedding a beautiful husband, a beautiful everything. I couldn't be more jealous of their relationship. The look on Alex's face was pure joy, and I knew that I wanted to feel that. I wanted to feel what Sam felt as she walked up the aisle, with the petals falling from the trees with her beautiful husband waiting for her at the other side. I wanted to know that my life would never be the same and that I'd feel the same way about this man for the rest of my life.
Yet I could still be happy for Sam. I still know deep down that even though I haven't met the man of my dreams, he's still out there somewhere. The aged bachelor life isn't for me. Sure, I'll never be able to afford a wedding like Sam's, but I know that my wedding will mean so much for me - not as the happiest day of my life, but as the beginning of the happiest days of the rest of my life - a symbol of the expectations of our day-to-day living as a married couple, together because of our love for each other and no one else, and our committal to mate for life. Maybe we'll choose to have a family. Maybe we'll choose to travel the globe. Maybe we'll raise chickens. Who knows? None of that will matter, so long as we have each other.

...what can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic.

I know this will all happen for me someday. Sure, I'm not the classiest of individuals, but I've always known I'd find love and get married and grow old with someone. It's what I'm here for. I only hope I can make that person as happy as they make me.

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