Okay, so remember that last post?
Just kidding. I have something to write about, thanks to last night.
I got hardcore rejected.
All I offered was to buy him a drink. We've talked like... three times, and we're in the same bar every Tuesday for karaoke... I haven't even made a move on him or anything to make him uncomfortable (that I'm aware of).
All I said when he approached the bar was "Hey! What are you drinking?"
"I dunno yet."
"Well let me getcha one, on me."
"...no, I don't want to take your money."
"ahh, c'mon, I'm already getting drinks for a couple people, let me get you one."
"No, really. Unless you're wealthy, which you're not, I'm not cool taking your money."
"I... uh..."
At this point it was beating a dead horse, so I just gave up.
You'd think by this time, I'd be a little more used to being rejected... and I am getting used to it. But it still sucks. Like... I'm not unattractive, I'm not annoying, I'm not heinously flamboyant or a total doucher. I've got a lot of friends who (seem to) generally like me, so why do I get rejected so often?
I think possibly it might be that I don't really come off as datable until you get to know me. My friends tell me that I'd be a perfect boyfriend, but then again, they're all women. ...though a few of my straight guy friends have told me that if I had the right parts, they'd be all up ons this. So why are the guys I'm into not into me? It seems to be a trend.
A couple of weeks ago, Dani and I went out to the car for something, and someone driving out of the parking lot shouted out their window "YOU CAN DO BETTER!"
I felt like shit.
Why would someone say that about me? I'm a good guy! Granted, Dani and I will never date, seeing as how she doesn't have the right parts, and she's a little crazy, but that doesn't mean that I wasn't offended. I'm a really great guy, and it hurts that total strangers feel the need to weigh in and say that I'm not good enough.
I've been told my whole life that I'm not good enough. I've always been just above average, and I'm being reminded of it more and more as time goes on. I'm realizing I wasted my four years at college, I don't even know if I want to go back to school at this point. I basically just want to open a bar and spend every night at it until I die, and then open Heaven or Hell's best bar.
I've just been so insecure lately, and things happening around me are exacerbating it. It's not my fault I'm not perfect...
or maybe it is.
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That was a shitty move on the guy's part.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself too much over this. It's all about attitude and why you project on to other people. If you actually believe you aren't good enough, people will feel that, and see it, hell even smell it, like the smell fear.
It's all about what you put out there, if you keep saying that you aren't good enough people will think so too, You need to project more confidence. Even inflate your ego if you have to, but don't let those comments get to you.