Saturday, August 8, 2009

xoxo, Gossip Girl

In light news, Imogen Heap is the strangest person I've ever followed on twitter. Earlier today, she posted this lovely picture of herself stuck in traffic.

Yes, the beloved performer of hits such as "Let Go" from the Garden State soundtrack, as well as sytycd megahits "Hide and Seek" and "The Moment I Said It..." a complete nut.

She later posted "I highly recommend walking round as a clown one day out of context. It is immensly good fun!"

You know what Imogen? I 100% believe you.... but this is a "let's not and say we didn't" situation.

In vagina news (cue soundclip - "It's Vagina!!" a la Joel McHale)
Lady Gaga is Intersexed. That's right, Lady Gaga has a tiny, tiny penis along with her Vajay. A while ago, a clip appeared online showing what appeared to be Lady Gaga's... penis. I assumed it was just her flesh colored underwear and bad lighting... but apparently I was mistaken.

"Its not something that I'm ashamed of, just isn't something that i go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but i consider myself a female. Its just a little bit of a penis and really doesnt interfere much with my life. the reason I haven't talked about it is that its not a big deal to me. like come on. its not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I'm sexy, I'm hot. i have both a poon and a peener. big fucking deal.
- L8d Gaga <3>"
(Lady Gaga's blog, as reported by Starrtrash )

Later that week, she tweeted
Love you Japan! Pokerface just went #1! Thanku!!. My show was so good last night. I just had to go home and suck my own hermie dick, suckka"

Somehow, I wasn't terribly shocked by this news. I'm kind of excited about this though. Hopefully, it'll bring more light to Intersexed Americans across the country... I guarantee we'll get a whole lot of "Wait, she was so hot in that one video! Does that make me gay?" *cough that's what starrtrash said* People are going to say "well what are we supposed to call it? Monsieur Gaga? Monster Gaga?"
No, she's not a dude and NO, it doesn't make you Gay. Lady Gaga quite clearly is a female. Yeah, she's got a bit more skin in a certain place than most girls you've met, but that doesn't make her a man. You're only gay if you like her peener more than her poon... and even then, you're probably insane for trying to hook up with Lady Gaga anyway.
Yes, she's intersexed, but seeing as how she goes by Lady Gaga, it's fair to assume she'd like to be thought of as a Lady. Her Gaga to Peen ratio is still 10:1, so let her be.

You know what other news won't be exciting? When we find out she's actually a mental patient that managed to escape. Her real name is Florence Mattinson (which I completely made up... or did I?) and she's got to be tranquilized to get her back in the home.

I'm a genius.

While the tweet was real, I'm under the impression that Starrtrash may be a laugh blog, and not 100% truthful. More to come.

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